Not even one black woman, Tiger?
Tiger Woods has been on the running shit list of some in the black community since he declared himself Cablinasian (white, black, Indian and Asian) during an appearance on “Oprah,” so few were disappointed when Tiger wed Elin Nordgren, a white woman, in 2004.
Black racialists were offended by Tiger’s perceived dis, but he is the offspring of two people from different “races,” his father, who was black (half-black, half American Indian and one-quarter white, actually) and his Asian (half-Thai, half-Chinese) mother. That makes him neither black nor Asian, but biracial.
I believe that in their heart of hearts, people who identify themselves as black know this to be true but, whether due to ignorance of their ancestors or a stubborn adherence to a rigidly dualistic view of race, recite the one-drop rule as if it’s a biological mandate. Tiger didn’t deny his blackness. He simply refused to be pigeonholed. I’d be willing to bet that if asked now, though, Tiger would refer to himself as multiracial, which is how he referred to President Barack Obama (himself half-black and half-white) prior to giving his speech at Obama’s inauguration, but here I drift afield.
The maelstrom of controversy swirling about Tiger is a result of his marital infidelity and, to a lesser extent, his behavior after driving his Escalade into a fire hydrant and his neighbor’s tree. That hasn’t stopped some people in the black community from using the revelations about Tiger’s extramarital trysts as an opportunity to get in some jabs about his apparent preference for white women and, of course, successful black men who don’t date black women.
“We’ve discussed this for years among black women,” said Denene Millner, author of several books on black relationships. “Why is it when they get to this level … they tend to go directly for the nearest blonde?”
With due respect to Millner, why does she and women like her care? There are black men from various socioeconomic strata who go directly for nearest blonde (because all white women are blonde, right?), yes. And there are black men such as President Obama, Kenneth Chenault, Curtis Conway and Dr. Ben Carson, along with “average” black men who aren’t well-known who didn’t. Neither group cancels the other out or proves the other wrong, so can someone tell me why this scab has yet to heal?
I don’t know or care why Tiger, Julian Bond, Cornell West, Ph. D or Henry Louis Gates married white women any more than I know or care why Robin Thicke or Roger Ebert married black women.
But a headline I saw on the New York Daily News when reading about Tiger’s alleged fourth mistress, Core Rist, caught my attention: Tiger Woods alienates black community with white lovers. Is that so?
The people who care about Tiger’s penchant for white women aren’t alienated by the news that Tiger has cheated on his wife with … other white women. And though it probably wasn’t intentional, the headline as phrased suggests that the black community might view Tiger differently if he’d cheated on his wife with a black woman because, you know, infidelity is acceptable as long as you cheat with your own. Oh, and then there’s also the implication that the black community is a monolith that takes a vote on what to be offended by.
For my part, I’m disappointed that none of Tiger’s paramours are black not because I care one way or the other about his feelings for black women, but because I’m thinking that if I could show up at a country club or a night club and pull practically any woman I wanted to have, some of them would be the same black women I see now who don’t know I exist.
I’m not condoning cheating, but if Tiger was going to cheat anyway, I say he played himself by not sleeping with even one of black woman–whom we know of.
I also say that the people who still get worked up about who men other than family members –maybe– marry find another issue. It’s almost 2010, not 1910.
I’m not surprised that he doesn’t have any Black mistresses. My favorite person in this whole episode is Elin Woods because she went straight gangsta on his ass. You are right, we really shouldn’t be concerned with who anybody other than family dates.
Response: I know, right??? She WENT IN!!! He had it coming, not just for cheating, but for being so sloppy about it.
The hoes are coming out the woodwork like roaches, SON! LOL!!!
I’ll say what I said over at Monnie’s joint. I don’t like folks who deny being black or even part black. I am all for self-identification but Tiger back pedalled so far from being even 1/32nd black that I really can’t ride with him at all. And you are right about not being pigeon holed by race and this is my own personal ism.
So for me it’s not about the dating the white chicks. At this stage of the game, if you are a famous black man..I kinda expect it.
Response: I appreciate your honesty.
REALLY New York Daily News. REALLY? This is yet ANOTHER reason I do NOT fuxs with them.
I never thought about Tiger’s preference in women. I just never really cared that much. Dude is awesome on the golf course and watching him play golf brings my husband joy. That’s all that matters to me.
Response: Yeah … I kinda felt as though I needed a showert after reading the site.
What trips me out is how some white people seem to think that Tiger represents black people. Even putting aside his declaration that he’s Cablinasian, he didn’t, he doesn’t and he can’t. He represents himself.
LOL @ TIH.. they sure are…
It doesn’t matter to me.. everybody has their preference and who he decides to bed is his business.. I give his wife props though cause she went straight upside his head.. you wouldn’t expect that from her.. but looks are deceiving
and who knows maybe he has had a black mistress.. she just hasn’t come out yet.. I’m saying what they up to 9??? LOL
Response: Yeah … the Back 9 they’re calling it.
I would never have imagined that his wife would snap the way she did (she’s been pretty low key to the point of near anonymity) but those are the ones you have to watch out for.
I wonder if a black woman would even deal with Tiger now. No one wants to feel like a second option.
the day is still young and the body count is climbing, he may suprise you yet, nah, not likely…
glad to see you active again:)
Response: I’m thinking if the closest we can get to a black woman is Jaimee Grubbs (a friend told me she’s bi-racial), we aren’t going to come up with a black woman.
Thanks, man. I needed a breather.
Wow, didn’t know that Tiger had alienated the black community by only having white mistresses. I thought he did that when he declared himself “Caublanasian” with the emphasis on “I’m not black!” Either way, I could care less that he only deals with white women. As one friend’s FB status stated, “Well Sistas, seems like we dodged a bullet on this Tiger situation. Turns out he’s just another raggedy, cheatin brotha.” *shrug* This is all of non interest to me. The jokes have been hilarious though. The moral of the story for all black guys that date white women exclusive because they “dont’t have any drama” is that white girls are crazy too. TIger has a bunch of cars but now he has a hole in one. Team Elin!
Response: Yeah … the myth that white women are universally passive has been –wait for it– SHATTERED. LOL I couldn’t help myself.
I actually hope that Elin takes the money and runs … with the kids … and then takes even more of his money.
Elin beat his azz like a black woman would have so technically, the sisters should be okay. LOL
Response: Beat his ass out of his shoes. This shouldn’t be funny to me, but it is. It really, really is.
As black women are watching this unfold, I would assume they are happy to see that he is doing a white woman like this and NOT a black woman. They should be happy. A bullet dodged by 50 eleven black women that could have been in on this drama. Count your blessings!!
Response: Yeah … there can’t be any love lost. I recall that when Tiger broke onto the scene, Tyra Banks was reportedly on her ass to go on a date with him. She has to be thanking her lucky stars that he wasn’t interested.
Hey, he fell in love with a NON black woman and had scandals with NON black women. He’s not the first and won’t be the last.
Seriously speaking, I’m not sure Tiger could hang with a 100% black woman anyway. I could be wrong.
I hope they can figure all of this out. At least for the sake of the kids. This is a SCANDAL that will pass but, the scars will probably last for years to come.
Response: Weeeeeeeeell … I’m not quite sure what you mean by 100% black woman. if you’re referring to her racial makeup, I don’t think it’d matter much. if you’re referring to her cultural sensibilities, that’s a slippery slope. I’ve been amazed by women who, frankly, didn’t seem able to have a conversation in Standard English. You just never know.
LMAO @ Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelll…
Response: How’d I know you’d get a kick out of that?
You’re absolutely right: This IS almost 2010, not 1910, and I told the writer of the story that you’ve quoted in this blog post as much when he interviewed me last week about Tiger Woods. Our interview lasted for more than a half hour, during which I told him over and over again that while I couldn’t speak for all black women, I could say as an African American woman that I personally was neither surprised nor care about Tiger and his sexual exploits in general or the race of his paramours in particular. I was shocked to find that out of all the things I said to him that the only quote that made it into the story was one that was taken out of context. Here is what I emailed him this morning when I saw the story:
Well, I’ll kick it off by saying that I was disheartened to see that out of all the things we talked about, the only quote of mine that you used suggested that I’m bothered by rich black men dating blondes. As we discussed: I’m neither shocked nor care about Tiger’s choice in women because he’s never seemed to identify with his “black” side anyway, AND it no longer bothers me when men date outside of their race.
Now, I have no doubt that you quoted me correctly, but the context is askew, especially if my quote is unaccompanied by my true feelings on Tiger and black men who date outside of their race. I’ve been getting Google alerts for your story, and my quote has been pulled out of your story and used as THE quote to explain why black women are mad at Tiger for dating white women. This simply was not anything close to what I said. If I remember correctly, I said that I didn’t think black women cared one way or the other about Tiger and his white women—that we were not, as a collective, angry about it.
I guess what I was hoping for from your story was an acknowledgement that black women don’t think the same as we did so many years ago. Regurgitated quotes from Tom Joyner and his stable of comedians is not a barometer of how black people feel on this issue. In fact, as I stated in our lengthy interview, I think that folks my age who are raising teenagers are being forced to reconsider how we feel about interracial dating/friendships, simply because our kids don’t tend to see or harp on color like we did when we were their ages. In that context, Tiger’s choice in women is a non-issue.
Good people: I can’t blame you for taking that one quote and using it to presume how I feel about the subject. But please understand that it is ONE QUOTE, and does not reflect my true feelings on the subject.
Thanks for the thoughtful prose.
Denene Millner
author, columnist, and a woman who apparently would never, ever wake up in Tiger Woods’ bed (and is quite okay with this).
Response: Ms. Millner, thank you for the added texture.
It’s curious that Reyes used the quote that he chose. Maybe it fits the Angry Black Woman meme that’s annoyingly easy for people to accept (and perpetrate).
And, yeah … here’s to hoping we won’t have to talk you off of the ledge once you’ve come to realize that you won’t be waking up with Tiger. Don’t take it so hard.
1. This will not make Black men rethink the notion that white (and Asian) women are passive. This just makes them think Tiger is stupid.
2. Welcome back. Someone asked about you the other day through my old blog address.
3. This is a scandal that won’t die. Before it’s all over, I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s some paternity tests he has to take.
Response:
1. Sadly, I’ll have to agree with you. I told a guy I was chatting with earlier that I understand why black women are pushing the, ‘See? It isn’t just us!’ angle, because for too long people who’ve had no exposure to women from different racial and ethnic backgrounds and/or those who simply relish the opportunity to put black women in the Angry box have perpetrated the myth of the lone, dramatic black women.
2. Thank you. Who is this? I think I know but I’m not quite certain.
3. I’m thinking Tiger may be on Divorce Court and Maury–maybe on the same day. It would make for compelling television.
I would call him a pimp but pimps keep their hoes in check so whatevs. Anyway, I knew ish like this was bound to jump off. I really wish some black folks would stop trying to lay claim to folks. Better yet, there are a few I would love to give away!!! See foolishness like that is why I consider myself “off black.” Yeah I said it. Honestly I don’t care who or what he cheated with either way he is wrong as two left shoes on two right feet. Team Elin!!!! Q
Response: As long as blacks are forced by whites into categorizing everyone along racial lines, that isn’t going to happen.
You wrote that Tiger’s father is “half-black, half American Indian and one-quarter white, actually”. That makes him a 1.25 human being.
Response: You’re joking, right? That’s really the only way I could take you seriously. If not, here’s a a quick lesson in Genealogy 101:
People receive one half of their autosomal chromosomes from their mother and one half from their father. But what about your parent’s parents? Well, we receive one-quarter genes from each of our grandparents, one eight from each of our great grandparents, and so on.
Or … have you developed another way to quantify forbears? If so, please do share.
Thanks.
Black women should be happy that none of the alleged mistresses, so far, is black. If a black woman is not good enough to be Tigerbone’s wife, why would she want to settle for being his ho?
Response: If a woman’s a whore anyway –and based on what I’ve read, that would be an apt description of a few of Tiger’s paramours– she could do a lot worse than sleeping with a billionaire.
LOL! Yeah, I’m all broke up…
I just wanted to comment on Tiger’s problem in the eyes of “some” Black people since I think I am in that group.
I don’t care that Tiger married a White woman. I don’t care that his side ho’s were White and I wouldn’t care if the side hos were Black or Asian.
I firmly believe that Tiger has the right to self identify as we all do and I think most Black people feel the same. What I don’t appreciate is when some people that have parents of differing racial backgrounds (AA being one) choose to distance themselves from the Black community. Historically, the Black community has been the one place that accepted children of mixed heritage no matter what. I don’t know of a single “mixed” person that was shunned or declared dead by the Black side of their family. I know more than a few who have are not accepted at all by their White/Chinese/Korean/Mexican familes. So to have a person choose to be Multiracial or Biracial rather than being Black and Thai or Thai and Black, stings just a bit. TO some it feels like the person wants to acknowledge being anythung BUT Black. I honestly believe that most people are astute enough to “feel” the difference between a person that wants to include all of their heritage and a person that values some parts of their heritage more than others. No one likes to be though of as less than.
We could go on forever about the reasons why each group feels the way they do, the historical truths, the social implications etc… I for one am glad that Elin reacted like a “ghetto” girl in Tiger’s eyes. The myth that White/Asian women will accept anything is just that … a myth. The truth is that White, Black, Asian, Hispanic women are just women. We all want to be loved and treated with respect. All of can be hurt and any one of us can get a little crazed when push comes to shove.
BTW… I’m not even going to comment on how Tiger’s father is 1/2 + 1/2 + 1/4.
You know how Black folks in the South love to claim their “Native American” grandmother. Well, 90% of our claims are dead wrong and we don’t have any “Indian” in our families. But if that’s the story his dad liked to share, I’ll leave it alone.
Response: I really appreciate your honesty, because I’ve long believed that the resentment blacks feel toward people of black admixture has been rooted in feeling rejected.
I think it’s hilarious that Elin went upside his head, literally, because if he viewed white women as an oasis from angry, “ghetto,” black women, well, he’s got nowhere to go now.
You don’t know how right you are about black/Native American admixture. I’ve read that up to 30 percent of blacks actually have Indian in their blood, but I’ve read the number as low as 10 percent. Someone’s lying. what I do know is that I’ve yet to meet someone who identified himself as native American but said, I have black in my blood.
“What I do know is that I’ve yet to meet someone who identified himself as native American but said, I have black in my blood.”
Where’s Emeril when you need a BAM!?
We can’t blame folks for wanting to identify with anything OTHER than Black when Black America has been, and still is, vilified for all the ills of America.
Say it loud…I’m Black and I’m proud. But…I have a White husband. Does that make me less likely to have an opinion on this that is taken seriously?
Response: Agreed. Tis sadly true and truly sad.
And to my way of thinking, your having a white husband doesn’t dimish your blackness. If it did, can you begin to imagine how many (more) people would marry interacially?
“As long as blacks are forced by whites into categorizing everyone along racial lines, that isn’t going to happen.”
True but some of us just fight way too hard though. I mean I just want to give R Kelly away at least. Pretty please with sugar on top!!!
Q
Oh and welcome back!!!!!
Response: I don’t think that even the people who are riding for Roman Polanski would have R. Kelly.
Thank you. It’s good to be back.
You wrote that Tiger’s father is “half-black, half American Indian and one-quarter white, actually”. That makes him a 1.25 human being.
Response: You’re joking, right? That’s really the only way I could take you seriously. If not, here’s a a quick lesson in Genealogy 101:
People receive one half of their autosomal chromosomes from their mother and one half from their father. But what about your parent’s parents? Well, we receive one-quarter genes from each of our grandparents, one eight from each of our great grandparents, and so on.
Or … have you developed another way to quantify forbears? If so, please do share.
Now YOU seem to be joking. If one parent is 100% black and another 100% indan, the child is 50% black/50% indian. But if he is somehow 25% white, then either the black parent is really 50% white or the indian parent is 50% white, or both parents are 25% white and 75% black/indian. In all cases, the child can’t be over 100% ANYTHING. Genetics 101, anyone?
Response: What point are you making or arguing, exactly?