God, Give Me The Wisdom And Strength
By God’s grace, I have lived long enough to bear witness that people get what’s coming to them. I know, I know … ‘Wasn’t your last blog about how Blair Holt’s killers should receive the death penalty?’ Yes, it was, and yes, I do believe Pace and Jones should be put to death.
But the people I have in mind aren’t murderers or criminals of any sort. The people I have in mind are good ol’ fashion jerks. They’re fake. They’re smug. They always have something cross (and crass) to say to someone. They mistreat people. They’re never wrong about anything. These people, geniuses that they are, know every damn thing. And to top it all off, they’re proud of being jerks. These are the people who get what’s coming to them and recently, I’ve seen this play out in spades. Oh, have I ever.
I have been the person I just described. (If you come at me sideways, chances are I will be that person now.) I’ve delighted in hurting others by way of vicious, mean-spirited words and deeds. I have wished great harm on people and gone out of my way to make sure they knew it. At the time, I believed that some of the those I wronged deserved it, but many of them didn’t. What I have come to know is that either way I could have and should have let it go.
I’m not looking for absolution or an ‘Atta boy,’ along with a pat on the back for coming clean. I’m being honest to establish that I’ve been where the people I’m talking about are now. It’s because I have that I can say with conviction that they’re miserable. Nothing else explains how anyone could be at peace with causing others pain and stress. But as miserable as they are, they’ve got something else coming because karma (or whatever you want to call it) is going to get at them sooner or later.
Lately, though, it’s been sooner. Within the last week I’ve witnessed folks lose things that they held near and dear seemingly out of the blue. Knowing these people as I do, I imagine it’s because they mistreated others. While it’s dangerous to ever justify mistreating anyone, these jerks were completely and consistently out of pocket for no reason. I’m talking about being jerks because they could–or so they thought. Real jazzy at the mouth. Real unconcerned with anyone’s feelings or point of view but their own. Real arrogant to dictate to others how they should react to what’s been said or done to them. Real wow.
As I have fooled myself into believeing in the past, these folks thought that they had every thing in its place, an answer for everything and a contingency plan for their Plan B. But then, as it always does, karma showed up and took the wind out of their sails. All of that huffing and puffing, that sense of self-importance and that delusion of invulnerability behind which they cloaked their insecurities, you know what I’m talking about … all of that has been exposed as meaningless.
I would like to be able to say that I’m not happy that the people I’m referring to have lost so much, but that’s not entirely true. That’s disappointing to me and also cause for concern. With all that I’ve gone through, with all that I’ve lost, I should be the last person anywhere smirking because people who went out of their way to work me and others over have gotten worked over themselves. But I am. I’ve grown by leaps and bounds, but God knows I have a ways to go before I’ve conquered my tendancy to seek vengeance, directly or by proxy.
But getting there is what I’m going to devote my energy to doing rather than rubbing anyone’s face in the bed they made for themselves. I will pray to God to give me the wisdom and strength to complete this journey whenever I think to do so. That will be often.